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Successful Dating Practices Series: The One?

There is a common misconception that there is one sole person for you. I spent many years hoping for “the one” show or seeking out “the one.” My logic extended from my Christian background, where I was taught that God had one specific person for me. I was waiting for Him to send me the perfect mate like he did Adam and Eve. As you read this, I don’t want you to think that God won’t highlight one person over another because He will. God has given me dreams, prophecies and spoken to me about who is a better option and who I should just be friends with. I simply want to drive home in this post that everyone has options, and some options are better for you than others. 

Even now, as some you read this, alarms may be going off because you believe there is one sole person for you as well. Like I once did, you are waiting for God to send you this person or have this fantasy of meeting “the one” because you have watched so many romantic comedies.  

In your life, you may meet two or more great options. All of them may be beautiful or handsome, charming, and have the character you like. But perhaps only one or two of them can fully accept your dreams and desires and have the personality you prefer. That person may be the better option.

The dangers of believing that there is only one person for you may lead you to stay in an unhealthy, unfulfilling, or abusive relationship. Some men and women remain in verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually abusive relationships because you believe this person is the one. If this is you, you are keeping yourself in a dangerous situation. Yes, they may change, but you be may be waiting for many years for something that could never happen. This person does not deserve your presence. 

Another danger is, like me, you may also fall into depression like I did when things don’t work out with the one. You may  have experienced this and felt like you messed things up or be alone forever. This is not helpful for your mental state.

If it were true that the only person was the one, there would be no reason to date or remarry again after your first spouse passes away or divorces you. Be encouraged, if you are in a healthy place, take steps to meet someone. If are in an abusive relationship, I kindly suggest you all get some help if the other person is willing to get counseling (during this time, I suggest you remove yourself from the abuse) or you separate all together. 

I dive deeper into this in this week’s podcast. You may listen at linktr.ee/coachkourtneyk

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Coach Kourtney, The Heart Mentor

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