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Successful Dating Practices Series: Identity

One of the main reasons we are having difficulty is that our cultures, society, and our environment, have trained us on how we are to identify and define ourselves. Each has their perspectives and concepts on what a relationship should look like and the process to get there. I propose that the current logic centered in society is not functional and is the cause of failed dating practices and relationships.

According to the International Institute of Pneumatology research, every person is self-existence, meaning they don’t need anything outside of themselves to generate. Each of us has a life-generating force or energy—for instance, your heart, your breath, and your vitality function on their own. You don’t need to plug your nails into a socket to make them grow; they grow self-existently. Because you are self-existent, you don’t need to look outside of yourself to determine your identity or define yourself.

And so what I propose is because you are still in existence, you are the ruler over your own life. I am not saying you are God, the Father, but I am saying that you identify yourself as God over your life and don’t need any external validation. When you are “god-ing,” it eliminates the need for you to seek confirmation from another. Having the highest identity will help you better navigate dating and your relationships.

I dive deeper into this in this week’s podcast. You may listen at

Blessings and Love,

Coach Kourtney
The Heart Mentor

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-Coach Kourtney, The Heart Mentor

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