In my last blog, I shared that if a person is holding you responsible for their perspective, not only are you using them as your external point of reference, but you are also allowing them to rule over your life. In that blog, I prompted you to consider your responsibility for your own heart and that person’s responsibility for theirs.
This week, I want to dive deeper. First, understand you will find yourself in a healthier mental state if you stop volunteering details of your life to individuals that attempt to manipulate your responses. These individuals come in two forms and may or may not be aware that they control your decisions. One form is people who care about you, are sincere in their stance, and want the best for you. An example of this would be your friends and family. Perhaps you want to take a particular path, such as becoming an artist, while they believe you should become a middle school teacher. You then would have to decide to follow your heart or not.
On the other end of the spectrum, those who attempt to manipulate your responses because it is advantageous for them. An example of this could be a person you are dating. Perhaps you have decided you want to wait to be intimate after you are in a committed relationship while they are trying to coerce you to become intimate before you are in a committed relationship. Again, you then would have to decide to follow your heart or not.
You should treat your heart as though it’s sacred. When I use the heart, I refer to mind, spirit, energy, life force, and breath. I use them interchangeably, as studies have found they are synonymous. Take full responsibility for the management of your life. Therefore, you do not allow people or situations to draw spirit, heart, energy, breath, life from you until you say so.
When I stopped sharing my life details with people, I could fulfill my heart’s desires without other’s opinions bombarding my decisions. It doesn’t mean I didn’t ask for help or seek counsel; it just means I was wise in whom I sought counsel. There was a battle in terms of what would happen once they discovered what I was doing. Still, the upside here is I was already moving forward in making specific manifestations in my life and now had space to remove individuals as my external reference point mentally. I talk more about reference points in my Free Training and my eBook. Both of which on this website.
This practice of remaining quiet is something you can start today. Remaining quiet will assist you in maintaining your energy, your mental health and not allow anyone to draw from you without your consent. When someone asks you about particular areas of your life, your response is simple, “that is not anything I want to go into or share.” Period.
I would love to hear from you. Let me know how these blogs are giving you a new perspective by leaving a comment below.
-Coach Kourtney, The Heart Mentor